We’ve all been there… that friend, family member, or acquaintance who literally zaps your emotional energy.
These people are known as Energy Vampires– people who feed off your good, loving, compassionate energy but with no ability to absorb the nutrients they are mindlessly guzzling.
These people will tend to be extremely self-absorbed, with low self-awareness and poor boundaries. If you are set to live an impactful and effective life, you need to stop pouring your energy into energy vampires at the expense of people who are genuinely receptive to help.
Here are 3 strategies to kick energy vampires to the curb:
- Know that your energy matters
Time is valuable, but energy is even more precious. Case in point: showing up for 8 hours of work and getting next to nothing done because you’re stressed and distracted.
Recognising that your energy is your most valuable resource is the first step in protecting your energy.
If you don’t value the quality of your energy, nobody else will either.
- Be clear about your purpose
When you are clear about your purpose and the goal you are working towards, you have an internal reference for your impact and contribution.
I once had a woman email me 14 times about a free resource I had provided. I took the time to explain in more detail but she was looking for a debate. When I finally told her I needed to return to my work, she accused me of not caring about people.
Thankfully, I am very clear about the work I do, who it can help, and the value that I put out into the world. I am happy to give a little leeway, but the woman’s behavior was a clear indicator that she didn’t have the capacity to value my work and was not aligned with my purpose. Case closed.
- Establish boundaries
Treating your energy like a safe full of gold bullion and being clear about how you want to spend it will change how you protect it. As the keeper of the resources, you are responsible for how, when, and who has access to your assets.
Decide ahead of time your capacity to spend energy and set up a filtering system (like an online booking system or diary dates) will help to keep energy vampires at bay.
Here are some phrases you might like to have handy
If someone catches you on the fly: “I’m really enjoying this conversation but I have another commitment”
If you previously had no boundaries: “We are introducing new procedures here so we can serve you better…” or “I know in the past we have just made loose plans but I am trying to manage my time better so I can be fully present.”
Bottom line: You are valuable, your time is valuable and your energy is valuable. But you are the only person who can protect it. Did you know that according to The Center for Creative Leadership, “75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional incompetencies.”
No matter how good your technical skills are, it is EQ that helps women thrive in life, relationships, and business, which is why these form part of the core teaching of Woman of Influence 6 month Immersion experience. The next course starts in March and is nearly full up so find out more or book a free strategy call today.
If you are just dabbling in this arena and feel you could use some more tools and strategies pre-register for my FREE Take Up Space Challenge.