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Death and rebirth

In nature, death is an essential part of life. The cycle of new life depends on other organisms dying and making way. It happens every day and this rugged reality is what makes life so valuable. Death is part of life; an interconnected cycle held together in delicate balance.

So why do humans distance ourselves from death in society? Even metaphysical deaths. 

We gather ideas throughout our lifetime, perceptions and a sense of reality. But what happens when our paradigm no longer works? Or when we catch a glimpse of someone living in a bigger paradigm?

And we are faced with a choice. Do we keep our paradigm or let this moment change us?

I believe the reason that we won’t let things die is because we fear feeling the pain of grief and loss more than we value the beauty and freedom of new life.

Identity work

The reason people come to work with me is because they are in pain. The pain of being stuck. Their paradigm does not offer any room to move forwards. By understanding how their inner world came to be and mapping out their core identity, they catch a vision of what their future could look like with action. And this picture calls the forward and allows the old paradigm to die.

The degree to which a person is willing to grieve what was, is the speed at which they will undergo transformation. Some drag their feet, resist and then return to their old habits. That used to happen a lot when I just did styling. But these days, the vast majority are forever changed. What follows this internal change is a visible tangible change which is when people say “wow, how did you do that?”

The Kuhn Cycle

Contrary to what you would expect, science is not just a steady progression of the accumulation of new ideas. Instead it goes through periodic deaths or revolutions. These paradigm shifts come when something we once believed as accurate, is in crisis. It is only at this point that scientists start asking questions and challenge the old model to prove it flawed.

Likewise, we must hold loosely the life that we have built. As our current model shakes and shifts, we must welcome a new way of looking at things. Knowing that this too, will be challenged and changed with time. The benefit of this is that we become nimble and humble. We are able to appreciate that where we are at in life is an iteration of what we once knew, and we hold it lightly, knowing that it will change too in time. 

“The art of living is based on rhythm – on give & take, ebb & flow, light & dark, life & death. By acceptance of all aspects of life, good & bad, right & wrong, yours & mine, the static, defensive life, which is what most people are cursed with, is converted into a dance, ‘the dance of life,’ metamorphosis.” -Henry Miller


One of the keys to stepping into a new paradigm is taking action that reflects the death of the old. In my FREE Intuitive Dressing Masterclass on 17 May, you will walk away with an entirely new style philosophy that gives a means of expressing the newness you are experiencing, every day. Click this LINK to sign up.