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Why are women scared of getting older?

A common belief in present-day western culture is that women become less valuable as they age. People might not say it, but scratch the surface of comments made about “mutton dressed as lamb” and being coy about how many candles are on the birthday cake this year, there is an understanding that our best years are behind us, somehow.

I turned 40 earlier this year and whilst some might keep this on the down-low, I felt nothing but proud and satisfied at this significant milestone. However, I don’t think this would have been possible if I hadn’t done the work to detox my brain from believing that somehow, I was past my prime and on the decline.

It is a common misconception that women are in fact getting less valuable with time as opposed to more valuable.

Think about it.

We are surrounded by images that reinforce the idea that our worth comes from our youthful, sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex,  as opposed to the fact that we are gaining worth with every experience and every year.

The more that we grow, the more we learn, the more with build relationships and community and we hone in on our superpowers and abilities, the more valuable we are. We have more to give; we can show more understanding, empathy, we have more wisdom to guide others, we are more settled within ourselves and can be more effective in all areas of life.

Then why do we fear ageing? Because of social hierarchy, which implicitly and explicitly ranks individuals in a way that means some people enjoy a higher social status than others. The higher status gives them access to more power, resources and control.

Who are those others?


In short: rich, white men.


How does this affect women? Well, because women are not as high up the social hierarchy model, they are ranked according to the preferences of said men. Stereotypically, women who are younger (but not too young), conventionally attractive & within a certain weight range enjoy the most benefits (relative to other women) in the social hierarchy.

Are you starting to see the problem? We are not only accepting that this occurs, but we are internally self objectifying and writing ourselves off without critical thinking.

Making a conscious deviation from this model whilst definitely counter-cultural is about a return to common sense, and whilst it makes sense, that doesn’t make it easy.

So much of our programming reinforces the idea that if we just lost weight, had surgery, and somehow came across as younger,  we would enjoy a more successful and satisfying life.

So this is the mindset work that we need to do. To rid ourselves of this falsehood, radially embrace our own worth and go about adopting what I call, the self-empowerment model. This is what I teach in all my transformation programs.

The self-empowerment model demonstrates that it is through alignment and authenticity with ones self that we gain power, not by climbing on top of others on the ladder. Alignment makes us strong because there is zero gap between our substance and our style. It is based on the belief that every person is of value, that we all have a unique contribution and that the best gift we can give to the world is our own fully enlivened self.

Women are hitting their straps in their 40s, 50s and beyond. There is no good reason to diminish or shrink back as you age but rather, find out how you can embrace your powerful authentic image. One of the first steps is to become aware of and celebrate the many examples of stunning empowered women who have embraced both their style and age. Secondly, be deliberate about investing in yourself, your growth and your image as you age.

Reach out and find out how Emma K Willmann can help you transform:

  • From feeling frumpy and dated in your appearance to energised & magnetic.
  • From insecure to rockstar confidence at any age, size or stage of life.
  • From being overlooked to having people hang onto every word with reverence and awe.
  • From feeling irrelevant to being grounded in your own increasing worth.

 We are now taking applications for our brand new 6-month image immersion program, starting July 2021.